Is My Crush a Bad Boy or Just The Worst?

We could be here for a while. Alexa, play Toxic by Britney Spears. 

Let’s face it, every girl has probably fantasised about the enemies to lovers trope more often than we would care to admit. Myself included, but that’s another story for another day. 

There’s a certain thrill that comes from being involved with a man who hates everyone but you. You feel like they would do anything for you, but truly he’s the absolute worst. Feeling like you’re the most important thing in the world to someone is a major vibe, but in this case, probably a little toxic...Just a teensy tiny bit toxic. Okay, super toxic. 

Picture this: you’ve matched with this guy on Tinder, he seems pretty cool, you’re messaging constantly, he’s calling you at night… you think finally, this one has promise. For your date, he picks you up in a very nice white Mercedes, or was it an Audi? Doesn’t matter, you’re too blindsided by the smell of his cologne to care. The night goes really well; talking to him was easy, between the banter and a mutual love of Zayn Malik, conversation flowed, and you’re feeling good when he drops you home, with a second date already planned. 

But let’s not get our hopes up here, folks. You’re happily dating for a month, and the more you get to know him, the more intrigued you are about his...extracurricular activities. Considering his job, he sure has a surprising amount of money. He seems to make a lot of late night visits to help friends you’ve never heard of, and he occasionally drops off the grid entirely for a few days. I’m sure you’ve guessed by now; I ignored all of these red flags because I for one love the colour red. You’re hanging out and hooking up; it’s fun, and carefree, and you secretly love the thrill of suspecting he’s a little bit dangerous.

But wait - he’s unfollowed you off Instagram? He hasn’t called or text you in a week, and you can’t find his Snapchat. The logical conclusion is that he’s suddenly ghosted you. My conclusion, he’s dead. So you move on, redownload tinder and start talking to different guys, ones perhaps that don’t have an air of potential criminal activity behind them. 

You’ve officially moved on when all of a sudden he’s risen from the dead, as has the spark you thought was gone. You’re not left wondering for long why he disappeared. 

He tells you it wasn’t safe, that he was ignoring you to protect you. Another few red flags that I’m pretending are a very nice shade of green. 

If this is where you’re at, before you continue to pick up where things left off, consider if it’s worth it. I will confirm this with you now, not everyone deserves a second chance and sometimes you need to be strong and cut them out of your life completely. 

So whilst he continues to Snapchat me, I continue to ignore his existence and soon, fingers crossed, I will officially block and delete him from social media and my life. Know your worth and who is worth putting your energy into.